When last we read: Aquaman swam into town to rescue people using scary sea creatures and Lois didn't hesitate to put her lips all over that seaman (Oops, I do believe I might've doubled that entendre). But Green Arrow and Aquaman just aren't enough to satisfy the girl reporter because she's got her eye on a certain man who likes to drive around disguised as a flying mammal. Please join me for Part 4 of THE IRRESISTABLE LOIS LANE!
Lois begs a ride because Batman is in town and she wants more lovin'! "Really, Lois, you've got more crust than a pie!" Lana opines. (Although I like the sound of that hep talk, I'm not sure what crustiness has to do with kissing. Sounds a little... gross. Besides, aren't crusty people curmudgeons? Something to ponder).
Lois and Lana arrive at midtown in time to see Batman climbing a theatre marquee. (I wonder what major criminal event brought Batman from Gotham City to Metropolis? Hmm, can't wait to find out). While Batman thinks about moving "fast and quietly", Lois shouts out, "Look! There's Batman now! Climbing onto that movie marques!" (Rather than kiss Lois, I'm thinking Batman might slug her for shouting out his entire plan so that whomever he's chasing will hear. I mean, c'mon, Lois! He's a stealthy crimefighter! Don't narrate his moves! Then again, the crooks didn't notice the crowd, the TV van or Batman. They deserve to be caught.)
He spots some thugs trying to break into the theatre manager's office. Thinking fast, he unscrews some lightbulbs from the marques and tosses them onto the ground to simulate gunfire. The crooks give up instantly. ("We were just trying to buy some Raisonettes, Batman, we promise!"). Thank goodness there was no need to fight, or insert any superhero action into the scene. It might've distracted us from all the kissing. (Amazing that Batman solved the entire crime in 3 panels. He's a lot slower in Gotham City. Perhaps that's why he decided to come to Metropolis. Or is theatre crime tops on his list? "I'll go anywhere in the world if I hear crooks are trying to sneak into the movies!")
Lois is there to greet Bruce (we're tight) with a big hug. Lana is there to fume out a thought balloon. And Lana's camerman is there for the inevitable play-by-play. "He's kissing Lois Lane! He can't tear his lips away!" (Thanks, camerman. I never would've gotten that from the drawing of the two of them kissing, unable to tear their lips away).
Personally, I'm wondering if word got out that Lois was on a costume-loving kissing jag and that's why Metropolis is suddenly filled with superheroes.
"Later, outside Metropolis..." things start to heat up as Green Arrow and Aquaman join Batman on a cliff top. Always helpful, Batman makes sure to narrate the scene with his thought balloon. It's possible he's showing off his great detective skills, but personally, I wouldn't put that one on my resumé if I were him. (And in case you can't read Batman's thoughts or are obvious-impaired, Aquaman gets squirted up there by a whale spout and Green Arrow catapults himself out of his Arrow Car. Batman flew there in a plane. I'm thinking this is not your basic tourist cliff.) The three JLA members are obviously up to something. (See? I'm a detective, too!)
The plot thickens when Batman collects lipstick-smeared handkerchiefs from the other two, adding it to his own. Lipstick-smeared handkerchiefs from 3 heroes via Lois's lips -- what does it all mean? Whatever the answer, Bats hops in his Batplane and heads to the North Pole ("Tomorrow I'm taking old socks to the Himalayas!").
This scene has left me with so many questions! What are the hankies for? Why is Batman flying to the North Pole? Is Santa in on this? And for crying out loud, what was that opening scene with Krypto skywriting and secret admirers about? Looks like you're going to have to come back on Friday for the thrilling conclusion to THE IRRESISTABLE LOIS LANE!