When last we read: Herb's newest scoop was a falling meteorite (once again engineered by Superman) and Lois makes a bet with Perry that she can outscoop Herb or she'll become the Lonely Hearts Editor. Up to speed? Good. Time for Part 4 of SUPERMAN'S SCOOP-PARADE!Herb's next surefire scoop location is Joe's Coal Mine. Yeah, should be great things happening there. Much more promising than the swamp. Herb asks Joe if there are any scoops lying around. Joe tells him he's losing his coal mine tomorrow because he can't pay his bank notes. Even Herb seems to realize that's not Daily Planet Super-Scoop material. But stalker Superman overhears and decides he can help Joe and give Herb his scoop.
Superman herds some thunderclouds together, lands on a huge mountain of coal, and, under cover of lightning, squeezes a lump of coal into a diamond. (Ah, the coal into diamond trick. Always a pleasure to see that one. Clark wouldn't have to work a day in his life. He could fuel his altruistic saving of the world by selling off his home-made diamonds. But no, he never does that sort of thing. His diamond crushing is never for personal gain.) Herb instantly calls in his story. "Mr. White, here's another scoop! Lightning just hit Joe Noakes' coal pile and destroyed a lump of coal!"
Let's take another step back, shall we? Lightning destroyed "a" lump of coal? From this entire mountain of coal in the distance Herb was able to discern that a single lump of coal was destroyed by the lightning? Did he count the lumps and deem one missing? This kid has superpowers! However, his journalistic instincts continue to be scraping the bottom of the barrel. Did he learn nothing in college? Did he have a class where the professor said, "War, famine, murder, disasters – yes, they all make okay articles, but if you really want to succeed, you need to find a good lump of coal destruction story! Find one of those and every editor on the planet will be eating out of your hand. And if that lump of coal is destroyed by lightning, as opposed to someone accidentally stepping on it, the world's your oyster!" Why does Superman continue to waste his time on this idjit? Sigh. Okay, rant over.
Needing to yet again point out the real story, Superman tilts a building with a metal roof so that the sun glances off the roof and illuminates the coal (wait, I thought he'd brought a huge storm in. Why is there sunlight glinting... never mind. Just tell the story, Joanna).Herbert somehow decides that the only thing that could glint on a coal mountain is a diamond. Of course, if he noticed a single lump of coal being destroyed, I suppose it's not all that farfetched to believe that little shine is a diamond. Heck, it's downright logical, considering. Joe's mine is saved! Herbert has his scoop! I need to keep my eyes open for glints! It could be a diamond!
We've had dinosaurs, meteorites, and diamonds – what could be next? And how is Lois doing in her search for scoops (without Superman to help her)? Tune in Monday for Part 5 of SUPERMAN'S SCOOP-PARADE!
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