When last we read, Lois had conquered her first superhero for her kissing story. Green Arrow was more than willing to forego his blow-up doll arrow and indulge in a little lip on lip action with the Metropolis's most famous female reporter. And now, with an Aquaman sighting getting Lois all revved up, let's return to THE IRRESISTABLE LOIS LANE:
"Gosh, Lana, I must cover that disaster! Aquaman will be there in person! Please give me a lift!" Despite the obvious hussy-ness of Lois's sudden interest in the story, Lana agrees to give her a ride.
Lana is worried about the passengers, but Lois has faith in the sea king. "He communicates with his sea creatures through fish telepathy!" she says. And there's Aquaman now -- standing on the back of a whale, directing a plethora of big fishies (And once again we can thank our lucky stars that fish think in English).
The rescue is Aquariffic! Octopi help people off the boat, while other passengers climb down ladders made of eels and swordfish (wouldn't eel ladders be rather slippery?).
So what happens once they're in the water? "...the dolphins, tarpins and sharks [are] waiting to transport you to the shore." (Sharks? SHARKS?? Oh gee, thanks, Aquaman! I'm so glad you're here, otherwise that octopus wouldn't have just handed me to a shark! You couldn't have sent a tuna or a dolphin?) But Arthur (again, first name basis) has ordered his toothy helpers not to dine on anyone, so all's well. However, the guy riding the shark looks a tad nervous.
Naturally, when all is well, Aquaman comes to shore and is accosted by Lois. "That cheap thing is at it again!" thinks Lana. "But she won't get anywhere with Aquaman! Heroes like him don't like to be rushed by girls!" (So... is she trying to say that Aquaman is gay? And if so, does she know about Batman and Robin or are those still rumors? Personally, I always thought Elongated Man had a certain "quality" -- and that Sue Dibney is a beard.)
Lana's cameraman is either a Canadian mind-reader, or he glanced at her thought balloon, because he says, "'Doesn’t like it", eh?' Listen to Aquaman! " Arty has turned off his fish telepathy, because he's begging for more like the randy he-man he is (so much for Lana's theory!), and he ain't kissing a flounder! The Irresistible Lois Lane is planting lipstick all over his big, blond head! (I believe his thought balloon would probably read, "The lips, Lois! Aim for the lips!")
Lana is jealous, Lois redoes her lipstick and Aquaman rides off on a whale -- just like so many dates end in high school.
Is Lois's kissing spree over? Is there anyone left? Perhaps we should check that cover once again – uh oh! Some guy dressed as a bat is last in line but looking very eager! This sounds like a job for THE IRRESISTABLE LOIS LANE! (Come back on Wednesday to see if Lois can get rabies from kissing a Batman)