Wonder Woman #25 (Story Two, Part 1): WHO'LL ADOPT TEASY?

Time to start a new story. Same comic, second feature. Hope you have fun!

"T.Z.Y. is the most mischievous, reckless, lovable young redhead who ever deserved the nick-name TEASY! You'll love this kid (betcha I won't. Heart of stone, that's me. I defy you to make me love the lil brat), but you'll hold your breath at the terrible scrapes he gets himself into. You'll thrill too, as you watch WONDER WOMAN battling the lovely but terrible 'Yellow-Mask' Gang leader in this episode called, 'WHO'LL ADOPT TEASY?'"

The splash page shows Wonder Woman holding a notarized document in one hand and with the other she's holding the hair of a gypsy-looking woman and using said hair to throw her to the ground. In the background, a blonde is tied to a post. And we can see broken chains hanging off Wonder Woman's bracelets. Step right up, boys and girls, I smell bondage!

"At 'Suburban County Orphanage' young Thomas Zenophan Yerxes, better known as TEASY, (T.Z.Y.) points excitedly to a mud-puddle." (memorize that full name -- you never know when it's going to come up in a trivia quiz -- and I hate this kid already). Teasy urges his playmates to look into the mud puddle. And the doofuses do. "What's in this puddle?" asks one intellectually challenged orphan. Teasy jumps in the puddle and informs them there's mud in it. ha ha. (rotten rotten kid) Right then, Mrs. Grimfall, the matron, calls the boys to come and greet the visitors -- prospective parents. Oh no! They're all covered with mud! Teasy fesses up immediately, upset that his little prank has caused harm. Awwww. (shucks, I love this kid...)

Just as Mrs. Grimfall is scolding Teasy, telling him no one will ever want to adopt him, Wonder Woman shows up with a blonde who is looking to adopt a boy. It's "Mrs. Alton Dearfield, wife of the famous atomic scientist -- she's looking to adopt a boy," says Wondy. (didja think I'd lie about that?) Mrs. D is immediately drawn to Teasy, but he warns her that he's "foolish and bad" and "nobody'll adopt me. I gotta play straight with yer!"

Mrs. Grimfall chimes in, basically saying he isn't a bad kid, just troublesome. Wonder Woman opines that Teasy's frankness and honesty means a lot. (C'mon, Mrs. D -- adopt him! Ya gotta LOVE this kid!)

Soon, the room is filled with well-dressed ladies, all choosing boys to adopt (no girls here. Wonder why? Only boys are orphaned? pshaw.) Teasy sits alone crying, knowing no one will adopt him (yeah, right). Meanwhile, Wonder Woman urges Mrs. Dearfield to adopt Teasy. Mrs. D agrees, but is afraid Teasy doesn't like her. She asks Teasy if he'd like to be her little boy, but he tells her stop kiddin' him. She sadly observes that he must not like her. Teasy leaps into her arms, professing his love.

Awwww, ain't this just too precious for words? I mean, I'm holding my breath at all the terrible scrapes he gets in, but I love this kid!

So Mrs. D gets Teasy on a trial basis. She can give him back if her husband and she don't like him (sorta like when you order stuff from an infomercial -- there's always a return clause. 1-800-ORPHANS. I saw it last night on cable. Not TOO rough on the hearts of the kids.) Wonder Woman realizes that she's supposed to be at Dr. Dearfield's lab as Diana Prince and makes her excuses.

Mrs. D introduces Teasy to her handsome husband, as well as Lt. Diana Prince and Dr. D's lab assistant, Mr. Mal Stone (Mr. Sick Rock? Gallstone? Millstone? Argh! I'm not getting the name pun here, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong! The doctors warned me that the disfiguring injury to my funny bone awhile back would have unforeseen consequences!) Mal Stone says, "A redheaded 'Teasy' -- hm --". (So what the heck does that mean? Could Mr. Mal Stone be... a bad guy??? With a lovely name like that? Mal Stone -- Bad Rock? Wrong Rock? Rock Hudson? Hudson Valley? Valley Forge? Knock on any Norge? Norgee and Bess? Pepto-Bess-mol? Mal Stone?)

Doc D tells his wife he's succeeded in perfecting the atom-neutralizing formula and tells her to put it in the safe at home. Diana immediately sees the military implications and insists the army safeguard it, but Doc D says it'll be safe at home cuz crooks would NEVER think to look there. Mr. Wrong Rock stands in the background looking suspicious. Myrna Dearfield walks home with Teasy and never notices a suspicious character hiding behind the tree. Nor does she see a furtive figure watching her through the window as she puts it in the safe, though the furtive figures bears a striking resemblance to the suspicious character. Teasy, however, brags that he could open the safe because he saw the numbers she dialed. Myrna warns him not to touch it (boy oh boy -- where could this story be going? Such a mystery).

Time passes and Teasy, though still mischievous, has wiggled his way into his new parents' hearts. Next week, they get to adopt him. Teasy is all aquiver. He decides to celebrate by burning down their house. Well... that wasn't exactly his plan. He wanted to make fireworks, like the fourth of July, so he lights some newspapers on fire to make torches and runs from room to room "doing a war dance". The safe, we notice, is strangely open and its papers have fallen to the floor. (The suspense here is amazing. There is just no way to foresee what's going to happen.)

Suddenly the paper torch burns low and Teasy drops it -- right onto the stack of papers!!! (D'oh! Is my face red! Who knew the torch would fall into those papers, huh?) He tries to put it out, but the fire only grows. He calls for his mom, but by now the fire is out of control.

This is terrible! What's going to happen? Is this the end for Teasy? Tune in tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion of "Who'll Adopt Teasy?"