Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane #106 (Part 6): I AM CURIOUS BLACK

When last we read: Dave had just been shot in his purple shirt by two racially harmonious bad guys. Lois is still black and now her cool new friend may be dying and the thugs are still armed and dangerous. Let's get back to the good stuff in part 6 of I AM CURIOUS BLACK!

Out of the sky come two beams of red-hot heat vision, melting the guns "to taffy" (Taffy? How gangsterlike). In the background, we see Lois carrying Dave's injured body. Lois, you Amazon! You've been working out! Not even a fireman's carry, she's holding him like Rhett held Scarlett when he raced up the stairs for some hot southern comfort. (I can only imagine what Lois is saying. "You want to see man's work? I could bench press you, ya pansy!")

Superman makes short work of the 'hoods', and then flies Lois and Dave to a nearby hospital. Lois is very worried about her new friend. The doctor tells the nurse to get Dave's blood type fast because he's fading. (So... anything think blood type is going to be a key to this story?) Things are very tense. Lois is very worried (and I think her babushka is tilting).

"Tense minutes tick by like spurting heartbeats..." (ewww) He's O negative! But oh no! The hospital doesn't "have enough funds for all [blood] types".

Now just hang on a golldurned second here. O- is the universal donor. If you don't have O-, you might as well not have anything. So if you're buying blood, you make sure you get that one first. Not A+, not B-, not even O+ -- you need O-. So why in the Wide, Wide World of Sports would this hospital decide not to order O-? It isn't like they're out of it. He distinctly says they can't afford all the blood types; i.e. they choose to buy some and skip others. So hey, I've got an idea, let's not buy ANY of the universal donor!

Sure, I realize that it's a set-up for the next panel (raise your hands if you've figured out that Lois is O- and rolling up her sleeve?) but COME ON PEOPLE!!! This is lazy writing! Find some logical way to make the donation necessary, not this golldurned, idiotic, "we need to prove we're poor again so we'll let common sense fly out the window" and "we need an excuse for Lois to donate" shinola!!!!! For crying out loud, it isn't like Lois's blood type is part of canon (or that DC cared about canon in those days). Make her a different blood type! Make her A- or B+ or even the rarest, AB-. I can see why a hospital wouldn't stock AB- because of its rarity and that would prove the "we're poor" point, but the universal donor? Give me a break.

Okay, I've calmed down now. And by pure coincidence, a week ago I was lying on a Red Cross table filling up a bag with my own O- blood. Yes, I'm the universal donor, and the Red Cross adores me. Every 54 days, I drop some reddies on the Crossers. If you ever need blood, I'm your gal.

Back to the story. Superman wishes he could volunteer to give blood, but needles break on his arm. (Lois looks bored. Most likely she recognizes the stupidity of a hospital that doesn't stock O-.)

Suddenly, out of the blue in a completely unexpected story twist, Lois announces, "I- I'm O Negative! Just like him!" Shocking! Pardon me while I retrieve my jaw. (Okay, I'm still upset about the lazy writing. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate contrived events in storytelling).

And then we get some dramatic blood donation panels. (Blood donation as a thrilling climax! You don't see that every day.) It almost looks like Lois is being told by ground control how to land a pilot-less plane. "Open and close your fist slowly... slowly... till I tell you to stop!" (Doctor, her fist! It's opening and closing too fast! We're all going to die!) As the tense blood donation continues, Lois worries about Dave's survival.

I'm going to leave Lois donating all weekend just to tease the heck out of all of you. Bwa ha ha ha! You have NO idea if Dave will live or die. There's no way to possibly know – what's that? It's a 70s comic about bigotry and not one of the Lois is in love so we better kill him off comics? Oh. Well just pretend you don't have a clue so you'll come back Monday for the thrilling conclusion of I AM CURIOUS BLACK!